Saturday, September 12, 2009


It's hard to believe, but my transfer -- my first ever after 8 retrievals over 20 months -- is happening in a matter of days. Not a moment too soon, as the the FET prep has been awful. I'd take stims over this any day. Whether it was the Lupron, the stress of knowing that all of my efforts will finally be put to the test or a little of both, I've been an absolute basketcase the past month and a half. Headaches, depression, irritation, nausea and even getting sick to my stomach. I don't know how my husband did it; even I couldn't stand being around me. At least I've been able to exercise through it all.

By far, the worst thing of all has been my anxiety. It's something I've always struggled with, but it's been on an absolute rampage lately, almost unmanageable at times. I finally found relief when I started deep-breathing exercises and meditating, both of which I've discovered really do work and are things I will continue for the rest of my life.

Still no word on the outcome of Retrieval #8, but I've asked CCRM not to inform me of the results until after the transfer. The last thing I need right now is something else to worry about.